What is on Sarah's Mind?

ON THE ROAD IN WASILLA, AK  —EBBQ   Here is the latest entry in the Sarah Diaries…

Dear Diary:  I've been doing some thinking about all those theys in my life. Would they miss me if I didn't show up? Would they miss my writing or my leadership? I guess I'll never know. I'll write another book, that would be a good sign. What else could they want to know about me? I've told them everything already. Twice. Why is it always about them – that's what I want to know. Why isn't it about me?

For a second, just forget that I should be the President of us all, and say that I'm team leader at a fast food joint or the town librarian and don't show up for work, do they consider shutting the place down? Would the books censor themselves without me? Or say I'm chief of surgery at the ER and have a bad day, would I cause someone to die? Does that make me a death panel? 

Todd says that not everyone is capable of being missed. He says most of us wouldn't be missed, even by our family, if we secretly moved to Perth in the middle of the night. The question, then, is not whether or not I'm capable of being missed – I'm more capable than anyone I know. No, the burning question is who, in their right mind, would move to Perth anyway? That's like deciding to move to Arizona, if you would have asked me, Bristol.

I think that I can see how being missed is a risk. Am I prepared to take that risk? If I am, then I'll have to extend myself, widen my circle and make promises to everyone about everything. But then…What? I have to keep them? Eeww. Gross.

That's way more pressure than it's worth. The Presidency will just have to wait. That's what I have to say about that. What am I going to do with all these f'ing Palin 2012 bumper stickers?

Figuring out how to deal with being missed or not is hard work. I don't like it when I get this way about things I don't know. (Looking in the mirror) I hope it doesn't show. I need some new shoes. 

Let's all go to the mall, My Treat! Call for the car, Todd.